"I Work the Night Shift at a Fast-Food Place. We're Not Allowed to Serve Anyone After 4 A.M." | ClancyPasta PRESENTS

[00:00:00] ClancyPasta Presents, I Work the Night Shift at a Fast-Food Place. Were Not Allowed to Serve Anyone After 4 A.M. by Top Discipline 3273 VB Simmons. And you're listening to ClancyPasta. Hey y'all, your friendly neighborhood minimum wage fast food worker here, wondering if anyone has the same odd problem that I have.

[00:00:38] Does anyone work night shifts under these conditions? I know it's a stupid question, but this is the weirdest fucking job I've ever had. Now, I won't really say where I work at. I don't want to get sued for defamation or some shit, but let's just say we sell burgers and fries and we're famous.

[00:01:01] I don't want to be more specific. Now, I don't really know how to explain my working conditions, but if I had to, it's just that we have a series of rules that we have to obey after midnight. Rules that don't make sense. Rules that have bad outcomes if you don't follow them. This only happens on the night shift, however.

[00:01:31] Which is fucking weird. During the day, it's pretty normal. People come in, they get burgers, they get fries. Lunch hours are a mess and so is dinner. Doubly so on the weekend. But if you ever find yourself working the night shift, especially in the drive-thru, things get fucking weird. Let me explain.

[00:02:00] So, it's no secret that dude bros, people who party out or they chronically bored, are usually the types of people you get at night. People who have worked these kinds of shifts will know what I'm talking about. You'll go out to the drive-thru and you'll see a car filled with teenagers or people who should know better coming in for double cheeseburgers and ice cream at this hour. They always want fucking ice cream.

[00:02:28] Now those people, as annoying and drunk as they might be, are not usually a problem. They get their shit and they leave. But our manager explained that after midnight, there's a series of rules you've got to follow. And he says that for a good reason. Let me give you an example.

[00:02:54] At exactly 013 AM on the dot, the entire line at the drive-thru will be empty. Not we have no customers so it's empty. Empty. Something makes it empty. One time. There were five cars placing orders at that hour. I don't think I've ever been so nervous working. Me and my co-worker just stared at each other. Sweating.

[00:03:25] When the clock hit 013 AM. It was at the same time I went to the delivery window to give out bags. It was empty. I had just talked to a guy who paid and after he turned the corner for delivery, he was gone. Just poof. Off the face of the earth. I was just left standing there with two bags full of fries.

[00:03:54] I don't want to sound like... Well, look, I'll admit it. This creeps me the fuck out. So please just, in general, don't go to fast food places at this hour. Come at 030 AM. Come at 11 PM or just don't come at night. But please. I don't want this to keep happening.

[00:04:22] It's now restaurant policy to not serve food five minutes before 013 AM. We block the drive-thru. It took some years of fine-tuning to get that, but... If we did it wrong, we would anger him. So yeah, don't come at this hour. This weird disappearance act is followed up by what happens two minutes after.

[00:04:50] At exactly 015 AM, something bizarre happens. A man driving a brown Chevrolet Impala shows up. He won't order anything. He just drives up to the drive-thru and stands there. When he's at the payment window, you're supposed to say, Good morning.

[00:05:17] When he passes the pickup window, you say, Good night. That's it. Don't make small talk. Don't ask what his order is. Don't do anything else. Just say, Good morning. And good night. He will drive off, And you won't see him again.

[00:05:44] This happens every fucking night. Every single night. This guy wearing a fedora and a trench coat comes in and does that. He's harmless, I suppose. Well, almost. But at least he doesn't creep me out like the rest of the regulars we get. At 1 AM,

[00:06:13] shit starts getting weird. There's this, uh, family? That comes in at exactly that hour. They're the only people we serve after midnight that aren't in the drive-thru. We don't really have a choice. It doesn't matter that we lock the doors, close the windows. Fuck, we even barricaded the entire premises once as a test. The family will always get in. Blink and you'll miss them.

[00:06:43] They just manifest out of nowhere. We just don't care at this point. We leave the door open. Might as well. Well, the family itself isn't very... normal. You know, besides the obvious, they don't... talk. At least the adults don't. It's always the same family, but... at the same time, it's not.

[00:07:14] It's two adults and two kids. They will always be fucking different races. Sometimes the dad's black, sometimes it's the kid, sometimes they're white or Asian. I... don't... know anymore. They keep switching. And like I said, the mom and dad don't talk. The kids always order... for... them.

[00:07:42] Two large meals for the kids, and two kid meals for the parents. No mayo, and no pickles. That's always the fucking order. They get their food, look inside the bag, smile in unison, and... leave. Creeps me the fuck out. I don't like to talk about it.

[00:08:10] But I've worked here for about five months, and... there was one time that something different happened. One time at 1am, and they came, but... this time, it wasn't two parents, and two kids. It was just one kid with a dog. Same... quote unquote family. Same order.

[00:08:40] Same... shit. Dogs aren't really allowed in, but... again, what the hell can we do? They came in anyways. The kid ordered, and they got their meals. They look at their food, and smile. And then the mom of the group looks at me, silently. She barked, and then they all went away. Fuck me.

[00:09:10] I try not to think about that day too much. What else is there? Oh, right. The 2am squad. So yeah, one hour later, five cars will come into the drive-thru. They all wear different colored shirts. Yellow, red, blue, green, and the last guy.

[00:09:40] Once you take their order, it doesn't matter how you do it. They will be switched up once they get to the delivery window. It's extremely disorienting, and not very nice for your understanding of reality. They're mostly harmless, except for the last guy. The last guy doesn't play nice, and he's always last. One time, Dave,

[00:10:10] my idiot co-worker, messed up his order. The last guy punched him in the nose. Seems a bit too much for messing up an order of fries, but okay. Don't feel sorry for Dave. He wasn't confused about them switching positions, he just genuinely got the last guy's order wrong. Like I said, he's an idiot.

[00:10:41] After that, things start getting dangerous. At exactly 2.57 a.m., all the oil in the fryers will be sizzling extremely hot. They will gradually start increasing in temperature, regardless of whether the machine is turned off or not. It will exponentially continue getting hotter and hotter, to the point where I even see the plastic containers

[00:11:11] near the oil start melting. At exactly 3 a.m., it will completely stop. All the oil will go back to normal and weirdly enough, even the plastic containers that got melted will revert to being un- melted. Then it starts. The hour I personally hate the most. 3 a.m.

[00:11:40] is the feasting hour. If you come and order after 3 a.m., you won't get anything. All the food that is ordered has to be eaten by us. If we don't eat everything, that's when bad shit happens. So, if you come at that hour and order a cheeseburger and a shake, I have to eat that, even if I'm not hungry.

[00:12:12] I, like the idiot I am, ignored this completely when I started working there. Needless to say, I burned my entire arm that night. Remember the sizzling oil? Well, Dave hit one of the fryers and sprayed hot oil all over my arm. You might think that was Dave just being an idiot, but the oil wasn't supposed to be hot at that point.

[00:12:42] If you ever want to experience the most painful sensation in your life, I suggest dipping your hand in boiling oil. I promise you, you won't forget that pain. I'm joking, by the way, don't do that. I was punished for not eating, I guess. It's not so bad, I suppose. You might

[00:13:12] think I should sue or something, but well, remember how the plastic containers go back to normal with the hot oil? Well, the next day, my arm, which should have third-degree burns, was completely fine. Don't ask me how it works, I don't know myself. At 3.30 a.m., the feasting

[00:13:41] hour stops. You don't have to eat anymore. Dave is still a fucking idiot, though, so don't come crying to me that you didn't get your food at that hour. And then finally, there's the end of the day, the last hour. From 4 a.m. onwards, you stop. No food, no orders, no one eats anything.

[00:14:11] That's it. I'm serious this time, don't eat anything, not you, and not the customers. If you break this rule, the consequences stop being innocent or quirky. I'd honestly rather burn my arm again than break that rule. We had a co-worker, Stephen, who worked here some months ago.

[00:14:43] Stephen was decent at his job. He followed the rules properly, but one day, he fucked up. He was kind of a big guy, did drugs probably, and he probably ate twice what me and Dave could eat combined. And one day, he just somehow forgot. He ate some fries after 4am.

[00:15:13] Stephen was fired that day because he did something insane. He tried to eat. The manager. I don't fucking understand it myself, but if you eat anything from this place after 4am, you change. You become different. Stephen is in jail right now because he went insane

[00:15:43] and almost successfully deep-fried our manager. He got him halfway into the fryer before we kicked him off, our manager. I've never seen someone look so deranged. His eyes were so open. He was drooling. God, my manager, he's a hard-ass, but I feel bad for the guy.

[00:16:14] The man was dunked in hot oil. The next day, he was fine, of course, but yeah, there's no scars on him, except the ones inside his head. When the oil starts boiling at 2.57am, I can see him going away. He stands near a corner, afraid to get too close.

[00:16:44] Poor guy. So yeah, that's my normal work day. Oh, I guess I forgot to mention, at 5am, my work shift ends. And I guess I sort of lied. There is one more thing that happened. The Fedora Impala guy? He shows up again at 5am. I didn't mention this before, but our

[00:17:14] manager calls him the owner. But we just call that guy him. That's a story for another time. He shows up every night at 5am, and if you did everything right, he just says one thing, good job, and then he drives off, and I fuck off home.

[00:17:45] Now, that's my full work shift. The clusterfuck that it is. Any of this sounding familiar to anyone? I'm writing this while I'm eating some fries from the feasting hour. Some guy ordered some a few minutes ago. I'm alone now, writing this on my phone at the restaurant. Late night shifts alone are so much fun. Huh.

[00:18:16] Weird. The clocks on the wall are giving a different time than my phone. At least we'll be over soon. I've been feeling a bit funny for some time now. I was writing this as more of a vent before I likely quit my job today, maybe tomorrow. This place sucks, even if the pay is decent. Also, yeah, I lied, I don't make

[00:18:45] minimum wage, but this insanity is still not worth it. the clocks. Wait, was today daylight savings? Dave is such an idiot, I think he forgot to set the clocks back an hour. Wait, do they go backwards an hour, or forward? Edit.

[00:19:17] Dave just came in. He's taking over this shift. I was thinking of quitting, but maybe I'll stay. I don't know. I'll have to talk to my manager. I mean, the pay is not that bad, and maybe I can cope with the insanity a bit more. Besides, I do get pretty hungry here, and the food is nice. I'm looking at Dave right now,

[00:19:47] fumbling with his entry card. He really is an idiot. So, yeah, I'll talk to my manager. I think I'll work this shift, too. I'll work a few more hours with Dave. I kind of need the money. Besides, he smells delicious.