"I Wish I Never Took That Job at the Bowling Alley" | CLANCYPASTA

[00:00:00] As a teenager, I had this job at a local bowling alley that I think it's safe to say was

[00:00:12] the epicenter of the most disturbing event I've ever lived through.

[00:00:20] The place was called the Tipsy Pin and was a rundown little bowling alley connected to

[00:00:26] a small little pizza joint and a little arcade that was about the size of a small bedroom,

[00:00:32] containing I think only Pac-Man and some pinball machine that was perpetually out of order.

[00:00:40] Despite its less than stellar ambience it was actually a hot spot in our small town,

[00:00:45] mainly because it was one of the few places where you could hang out past 9pm.

[00:00:50] The owner, Mr. Buffalo was a pretty cool guy despite being nearly 80 years old.

[00:00:57] He paid fair enough for our sleepy little town at least and always felt he treated us with respect

[00:01:04] and genuinely cared about the alley and the people who came and went.

[00:01:10] But this story is technically about him or the alley itself.

[00:01:16] It's about a coworker of mine.

[00:01:20] The sake of the story.

[00:01:22] Let's call him Jay.

[00:01:26] Now Jay was off.

[00:01:30] There's really no kinder or better way to put it.

[00:01:34] He was a real tall guy who just had an unsettling presence to him.

[00:01:40] His hair was always a mess.

[00:01:42] For some reason he asked for a uniform about two sizes too small for him and never got

[00:01:48] to replace but the real reason he made a lot of us uncomfortable is that...

[00:01:55] Well, Jay never spoke.

[00:01:59] Now I don't mean he was quiet or that he didn't like to socialize.

[00:02:04] I mean in the most literal sense you would not speak a word even if you directly asked

[00:02:09] him something.

[00:02:11] He just stopped what he was doing and stare at you until you eventually got a little

[00:02:17] creeped out and walked away.

[00:02:21] The only exception was his occasional muttered complaints about Mr. Buffalo.

[00:02:29] Every once in a while, usually right after the boss gave him or us a task to do.

[00:02:35] You'd hear the faintest of whispers fall from his lips.

[00:02:40] None of us could ever really hear what he was saying but we would usually pick up on the

[00:02:46] words.

[00:02:47] Buffalo, sick and few words of the stronger variety.

[00:02:56] He'd also look real upset while mumbling.

[00:03:02] Jay's disdain for the boss was pretty confusing to most of us.

[00:03:08] Mr. Buffalo, just like to the rest of us, was really nothing but kind to Jay, always

[00:03:14] trying to engage him and make him feel part of the team.

[00:03:19] I remember one time Mr. Buffalo walked up to him after most of us had dispersed but

[00:03:25] I was still relatively nearby and heard him say, hey Jay how'd you like to get fitted

[00:03:31] for a new shirt on me?

[00:03:33] That thing looks like it's digging into your neck there but I want to make sure you're

[00:03:36] comfortable here at the pin.

[00:03:40] But Jay just glared at him, his eyes growing more and more bold with disdain as the seconds

[00:03:48] passed.

[00:03:51] Eventually, the boss just walked away, shaking his head all the way to the back office.

[00:04:01] I was shaking my head too.

[00:04:06] One day, I came into work at the usual time of 9am and the boss wasn't in.

[00:04:17] This was unusual because he rarely missed a day at the tipsy pin and always liked to open

[00:04:24] and close.

[00:04:26] He was just that kind of boss he really cared about his business which made it all the more

[00:04:32] odd that he wasn't in.

[00:04:36] I asked a couple co-workers if they'd heard anything from him and none had.

[00:04:43] I figured he must be running late or something and would be in before too long anyhow.

[00:04:50] And that's when Jay walked in.

[00:04:55] He had an uncharacteristic pep in his step.

[00:04:59] As I watched him nearly skipping towards lane 4, caring would look like a bowling back

[00:05:05] in his right hand.

[00:05:06] The thought occurred to me that he actually seemed as though he was well happy.

[00:05:15] I really was shocked.

[00:05:18] Driven by a mix of curiosity and a kind of bizarre concern, I decided to walk up to him.

[00:05:27] Hey Jay, I said attempting to sound casual.

[00:05:33] You seem in a good mood today.

[00:05:37] I was expecting another glare, albeit maybe a less threatening one this time, before I

[00:05:43] just smiled back and walked away.

[00:05:46] But for the first time he turned to me and after the smile grew wider across his face,

[00:05:55] he actually spoke.

[00:05:59] Got a new bowling ball?

[00:06:01] He said, his voice unsettlingly eeker.

[00:06:07] I was both happy for him and a little hesitant as I responded.

[00:06:13] Oh yeah, let's see it.

[00:06:18] I watched intrigued as he unzipped his bowling bag and pulled out a bowling ball that after

[00:06:26] my eyes adjusted to the site, literally took my breath away.

[00:06:33] But not because of its sheer beauty but because of the utter shock that pulsed through me.

[00:06:45] It was like nothing I had ever seen before.

[00:06:50] The outside of the ball was crystal clear as if it was made from glass or more likely,

[00:06:56] a kind of resilient resin but it was one laid deeper inside that screamed out to me.

[00:07:04] It was as far as I could tell, a human skull.

[00:07:11] I immediately assumed it to be a replica trying to reassure myself but it sure didn't

[00:07:18] look like one.

[00:07:20] It looked completely real and intact in the three holes in which you had to place your

[00:07:27] fingers were lined up with the skulls two eye sockets and nose cavity.

[00:07:37] I found it in me to catch my breath.

[00:07:42] Wow, that's unique.

[00:07:48] I managed to say attempting to mask my horror with a weak smile.

[00:07:54] Jay didn't seem to notice my discomfort.

[00:07:58] His eyes glued to the ball held like a trophy in his hands.

[00:08:04] He then turned around and placed the ball on the return seemingly preparing for a game.

[00:08:11] I watched as he threw his first resulting in a shattering strike.

[00:08:18] He walked back that grin seemingly still whitening across his face.

[00:08:25] I looked around to see if any of my co-workers were seeing this but none were around.

[00:08:33] It was a bit of an arcade or pizza joint.

[00:08:38] It was early but still I thought it was a little inappropriate to be fooling around so

[00:08:45] flakrantly on the job.

[00:08:49] I turned back to Jay.

[00:08:51] Listen, I don't mean to interrupt your game but shouldn't you be working?

[00:08:58] I ask subconsciously taking a step back in nervousness.

[00:09:05] Mr. Buffalo will be pretty upset if he sees you slacking off.

[00:09:11] The ball slammed into another set of pins, his second strike.

[00:09:18] As he walked back, Jay looked me in the eyes and whispered, oh, don't worry about him.

[00:09:28] He walked over to the chairs by the lane and sat down, giggling to himself.

[00:09:34] He's not going to be a problem anymore.

[00:09:40] His words hung on the air.

[00:09:43] I just slowly nodded my head and after a few awkward moments of silence decided to just

[00:09:52] leave him be.

[00:09:55] I sure wasn't going to fight with a guy and what did I care if he got in trouble anyway?

[00:10:02] It probably would be nice if he was fired.

[00:10:04] It would certainly make the day a little less strange but as the day went on, Mr. Buffalo

[00:10:12] never came in.

[00:10:16] I tried calling his cell but never got an answer.

[00:10:20] By the end of the day, I decided someone needed to stick around to close so I volunteered.

[00:10:28] I wasn't used to staying that late and by the end I had practically been there over 16

[00:10:35] hours.

[00:10:37] I was exhausted and couldn't help but crash on the couch the moment I walked through my

[00:10:43] front door.

[00:10:48] I woke up with a jolt as I realized I never set my alarm.

[00:10:53] Ah crap, I shouted as I realized it was half past ten.

[00:10:58] I was already an hour and a half late so I threw on my clothes, said screw it to the shower

[00:11:07] and ran to my car.

[00:11:10] As I pulled up to the tipsy pin, I found a sight there.

[00:11:15] I'd never seen before or since.

[00:11:21] The parking lot was packed with police vehicles and local news vans with a few different

[00:11:28] flocks of camera crews and news anchors all blabbering away in front of the building.

[00:11:34] I almost felt like I was entering a movie as I slowly pulled in, being extra careful

[00:11:40] to not hit anyone in the chaotic scene.

[00:11:45] I pretty quickly realized I wasn't going to get far so I pulled back a little bit and

[00:11:50] parked near the very back, deciding to walk the rest of the way.

[00:11:57] I bombed and weaved my way through news crews and officers.

[00:12:02] Or one of the cops grabbed me by the shoulder and turned me around.

[00:12:07] Hey, this is a restricted area right now you're going to need to leave.

[00:12:13] Listen, I work here, I said.

[00:12:16] Still quite confused.

[00:12:19] I don't know what's going on here at all.

[00:12:21] Can you tell me what happened?

[00:12:24] There's been a murder.

[00:12:26] You replied, dryly.

[00:12:28] What?

[00:12:30] I immediately reacted.

[00:12:35] What?

[00:12:36] Who?

[00:12:37] But before he even said the words, I knew.

[00:12:44] The owner of the bowling alley was found by one of the employees in the basement but I can't

[00:12:49] get into any more detail than that at this time.

[00:12:56] My head was spinning and I tried to get more answers.

[00:13:02] What?

[00:13:03] Who did this?

[00:13:06] Has anyone been arrested yet?

[00:13:10] The officer stared at me, looked away and then turned back.

[00:13:16] Look, I'm not supposed to say anything right now.

[00:13:22] But as the chief is going to give the press conference in an hour anyway, I'll just tell

[00:13:26] you.

[00:13:27] Some kid who works here named Jay copped to the whole thing.

[00:13:30] As no remorse says he'd do it again, yada yada.

[00:13:35] So it's a pretty open and shut case.

[00:13:37] No bad guys on the loose tonight at least.

[00:13:43] I nodded but I don't know if the words were really sinking in.

[00:13:49] I felt like I was going to pass out so without saying another word, I found myself walking

[00:13:56] and then nearly jogging back to my car.

[00:14:01] I drove home and I never saw the inside of that bowling alley ever again.

[00:14:13] In the following days, details emerged in the press.

[00:14:17] The identification of the culprit as Jay, yes.

[00:14:22] But some far graver details.

[00:14:26] Apparently, the body was found in the old downstairs closet where we keep some of the less needed

[00:14:33] supplies which explains why no one discovered him that first day after he went missing.

[00:14:40] I still don't know which one of my co-workers found him.

[00:14:44] I haven't been able to get into contact with anyone who'd know.

[00:14:49] But the corpse was apparently found in the closet.

[00:14:54] Hanging upside down, his ankles tied with a chain to the lighting fixture.

[00:15:01] His entire blood supply drained and collected into a large bucket placed just below.

[00:15:11] His head missing.

[00:15:14] The neck nothing but a drained dripping maw.

[00:15:22] The community was shaken to its core.

[00:15:26] It wasn't long at all before the tipsy pin closed down, a silent testament to the tragedy

[00:15:34] that had unfolded within that building.

[00:15:38] Pretty enough, it was within half a year that the now vacant building mysteriously caught

[00:15:44] a flame in the middle of the night and by morning was nothing but a pile of ash and

[00:15:50] bricks.

[00:15:53] At this point, it's like that bowling alley was never even there to begin with.

[00:16:04] It's been years now, but I've still not so much as entered a bowling alley since.

[00:16:13] I just know that I wouldn't be able to get him out of my mind to get it out of my mind.

[00:16:23] I know that the moment I'd see some little kid ready to roll his first bowling ball down

[00:16:29] the lane, my mind would switch out the little one pound kiddie ball for Jay's prized possession

[00:16:41] and I'd watch as what was left of Mr. Buffalo screamed towards the pin in terror and agony.

[00:16:59] Thank you for listening to tonight's episode of Clancy Pasta.

[00:17:17] I really hope you enjoyed.

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[00:18:04] Okay, well thank you all for listening, I really appreciate your viewership and I will

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[00:18:14] Have a great night.