"His Name is DICEFACE, and He Keeps Me as His Pet" by EclosionK2 | CLANCYPASTA

[00:00:00] Day 1

[00:00:02] Ringo woke me up with his barking. It was the deep howling Kai, the kind he reserves for raccoons in our alley. Except, he was in the middle of my apartment. When I pulled apart the curtains, I saw the problem. The sun was gone.

[00:00:18] Normally, I could see the pre-dawn highlights around the laundromat across from my apartment, but today, the outside of the world was completely black. No sun, no moon, no stars. Not even streetlights. All black.

[00:00:34] More alarmingly, my window now had a curved feel to it, like I was inside some giant fishbowl. When I traced the glass upwards, I could see it arcing up into my ceiling and then coming back down on the other side. What the fuck?

[00:00:50] My front door was behind a large pane of curving glass. The knob was unreachable. It was like half my apartment had somehow become encapsulated inside a glass sphere. My dog barked again, snarling at the dark world outside the window.

[00:01:07] I tried to put together some reasonable explanation. Maybe some fabric was obscuring my window on the exterior. Maybe the glass was just some building material that fell from the upper floor. But then I saw it. A giant, white face that came to press itself up against the window. I could see the plaque on its teeth and the snot under its nose slits.

[00:01:32] In one quick motion, I fell and hid behind my table. My dog whimpered beneath me. The thing had a mouth as wide as my whole window and its breath was fogging up the glass. I had trouble understanding what all those organs on its faces were. And then it blinked.

[00:01:55] Day 2

[00:01:57] I call him Dice Face. Dice Face because his six eyes are arranged in the same way that the six dots are on a die. Sometimes I would see his white, tube-like fingers too, or the long, jagged ridge of his spine. But mostly just his horrifying six-eyed face.

[00:02:17] Here's my immature drawing. It appears that this monster somehow encapsulated my entire 300-square-foot studio apartment, including bed, bathroom, and tiny kitchenette into a glass bubble. At some point in my sleep, the bubble must have appeared around my flat and tore me away from earth.

[00:02:41] I wish I could tell you where the hell I was, but the darkness outside is too pervasive. Dice Face must have some kind of intense night vision that allows him to traverse the miles of dark and somehow tug my apartment orb behind him like a balloon on a string.

[00:02:59] I don't know if Dice Face is migrating, hunting, exploring, scavenging, shopping, or just wandering aimlessly until he dies, but he's had a walking period both days so far. Each walk is around three hours. I know because all the clocks in my house still work. In fact, all of the electricity, wifi, plumbing, heating, and everything else still seems to work in my apartment.

[00:03:28] However, he had stolen it from Earth. My flat is still somehow being fueled all of its usual resources, which makes me think that it is still somehow spatiotemporally connected to my reality.

[00:03:43] Like maybe this bubble is just a little rift that Dice Face has collected. I'm not sure.

[00:03:48] I've spent most of today and yesterday calling my friends and family and explaining that I'm still alive, but clearly not in Kansas anymore.

[00:04:01] Day 3. Getting Hungry

[00:04:04] Luckily, I have dog food for days, so Ringo hasn't complained, but I ran out of all my human food on day 1.

[00:04:13] All I have is Instamix gravy, and there's only so much gravy a guy can eat.

[00:04:19] I was hoping my sister, who is a physics major, would maybe have some answer to my predicament.

[00:04:25] She had a spare key and even visited my apartment, but when she went inside, there was nothing amiss.

[00:04:33] Apparently everything looked the same except me and Ringo were gone.

[00:04:37] There wasn't any missing chunk or portal or space-time anomaly.

[00:04:42] Just an empty flat.

[00:04:45] She said that because I was still able to call her, it meant that cell signals could travel between my captor's world and the original Earth,

[00:04:54] which meant there still must have been a physical connection that I could use somehow.

[00:04:59] But I had already scoured every edge of my flat.

[00:05:03] I tore down a wall which only revealed more glass behind it, and I tried repeatedly to smash the fishbowl glass with one of my dumbbells.

[00:05:13] It was impenetrable.

[00:05:15] The only thing I hadn't attempted was to remove all the plumbing beneath my sink and try seeing if there was at least a pipe-sized hole through the glass,

[00:05:25] but I didn't want to risk cutting off my only water supply.

[00:05:29] Not yet.

[00:05:30] All I could do was deep dive on the internet to see if anyone had ever faced a similar predicament.

[00:05:37] No such luck.

[00:05:40] Day 4

[00:05:42] Dice Face let me out of the sphere today.

[00:05:46] Instead of utter darkness greeting my morning, there was a cereal aisle outside my window.

[00:05:53] The bright fluorescence gave the Cheerios and Captain Crunch a hard white shine.

[00:05:59] The curved glass was gone, and I was able to hop out into what looked like a section of Walmart.

[00:06:05] Ringo followed me.

[00:06:07] I looked down the aisle towards the cashier section, and I could see that same impenetrable darkness beyond the store windows.

[00:06:15] Did Dice Face just place my sphere inside a larger Walmart sphere?

[00:06:22] Before I can make sense of it, I saw an older woman speed down the aisle.

[00:06:26] She was aggressively toppling soup and vegetable cans into her shopping cart already bursting with groceries.

[00:06:34] Hurry!

[00:06:34] She yelled.

[00:06:35] They only give us six minutes!

[00:06:37] She zoomed past, knocking over products into her cart like every kid's fantasy.

[00:06:43] The ground shook.

[00:06:45] It sounded like an iceberg somewhere was cracking.

[00:06:48] At the end of the aisle, I could see the darkness starting to encroach.

[00:06:52] The sphere surrounding this supermarket was shrinking.

[00:06:55] Not wasting a second, I jumped back into my apartment and grabbed my laundry basket.

[00:07:02] I filled it with as much cereal, bread, and canned food that I could get my hands on.

[00:07:07] Ringo barked and froze, terrified by the encroaching glass.

[00:07:12] I plopped him on top of my basket and heaved the whole thing back into my apartment.

[00:07:17] In a few moments, the world outside had gone dark again.

[00:07:21] The curved glass outside my window grew back like a thin membrane.

[00:07:29] Day 5

[00:07:30] I exchanged phone numbers with a woman at Walmart.

[00:07:36] Her very first text to me was,

[00:07:38] Welcome to Hell.

[00:07:41] I was astonished to find another human being trapped in the same scenario as me.

[00:07:46] She introduced herself as Bea and explained she was stuck in her own little fishbowl,

[00:07:52] containing most of her cramped basement suite.

[00:07:55] Apparently, there have been dozens kidnapped like us,

[00:07:59] captured by these tall, six-eyed monsters that Bea calls collectors.

[00:08:05] She doesn't know what dimension they're from or how they're able to steal people from Earth,

[00:08:09] but she does know that they essentially treat us as pets.

[00:08:14] I was shocked.

[00:08:16] What do you mean they keep us as pets?

[00:08:19] Either pets or collectibles.

[00:08:21] She said, clearly tired of explaining this over the phone to newcomers.

[00:08:26] We are kept in a replicated version of the habitat we live in.

[00:08:30] We get taken on walks, and once a week or so, we have to impress the collectors with tricks.

[00:08:37] Tricks?

[00:08:38] Yes, like pets.

[00:08:40] You're going to need to learn to juggle or perform some kind of dance if you want another visit to Walmart.

[00:08:47] Ringo was looking at me with puppy dog eyes.

[00:08:50] We had run out of bully sticks.

[00:08:54] What?

[00:08:55] Yes.

[00:08:56] But not the Macarena.

[00:08:58] That's my trick.

[00:08:59] Find a different one.

[00:09:00] Very soon, you're going to be taken out to perform at a show.

[00:09:04] I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

[00:09:07] Bea was saying all this so matter-of-factly, like she's been here for years.

[00:09:12] A wave of panic coursed through me.

[00:09:15] But I don't want to be a pet.

[00:09:18] Why am I a pet?

[00:09:19] Is there some way we can escape?

[00:09:22] Ringo whimpered.

[00:09:24] Escape?

[00:09:25] Bea sighed.

[00:09:26] She was fiddling with something metallic.

[00:09:29] Yeah, there is a way.

[00:09:31] My heart stopped.

[00:09:33] I glued the phone to my ear.

[00:09:35] There is?

[00:09:37] Yeah, I help everyone escape.

[00:09:40] You do?

[00:09:42] There was a click of maybe a luggage container.

[00:09:45] Bea was moving around something in her room.

[00:09:48] Yup, I've made it my mission.

[00:09:51] I was speechless.

[00:09:53] Even Ringo registered my surprise.

[00:09:56] I'll see you at the talent show.

[00:10:01] Day 6

[00:10:03] It looked like a circus ring.

[00:10:05] Like one of those massive, old-timey tent circuses that should have had clowns, elephants, and a ringmaster.

[00:10:11] But instead, it was dead empty.

[00:10:14] Echoey trombone sounds breathed in from somewhere distant tent.

[00:10:19] All around us, craning their impossibly long necks, watched the collectors.

[00:10:24] They sat in the bleachers slouching beneath the tent's droopy ceiling.

[00:10:29] Their long, folded limbs crushed the viewing galleries as they settled into their seats.

[00:10:34] Every set of six eyes watched us intensely, barely blinking.

[00:10:39] As I left through my window, I stepped into a large open area littered with hula hoops and various band instruments.

[00:10:48] Across from me, I could see other hovering window frames, portals, if you will, that led into other people's habitats all around the edges of the ring.

[00:10:57] About half a dozen people stumbled out to the center, just like me.

[00:11:02] Their faces were fearful, keeping their gazes to the floor.

[00:11:07] And believe me, I was scared too.

[00:11:10] All of us human pets were so tiny compared to the collectors who leaned in effortlessly with their large, gaping mouths.

[00:11:17] It's like we were in the box art for some colossal, fucked up version of Hungry Hungry Hippos.

[00:11:25] A bearded man quickly ran up to the trumpet that lay at my feet.

[00:11:30] Before I had a chance to say anything, he lifted the trumpet, wiped the mouthpiece, and played a slow, strange melody.

[00:11:39] It took me a moment to realize he was matching the haunting trombones out in the distance.

[00:11:45] As I listened closer, I could sense a familiar, staticky graininess to the trombones.

[00:11:52] Were they recordings?

[00:11:55] What the fuck was this place?

[00:11:58] Two other folks raced to pick up the hula hoops and started twirling them on their hips,

[00:12:03] which is when I realized there weren't many other props to grab.

[00:12:08] Did I need one?

[00:12:09] In a panic, I ran towards the center, trying to find something besides dirt and rubber mats, and that's when Bia showed up.

[00:12:18] She waved her hands, then placed them on her head, then her elbows, then her waist.

[00:12:24] She was doing the Macarena.

[00:12:27] Right.

[00:12:28] I could just perform a dance.

[00:12:30] Plan B, then.

[00:12:31] I jumped and lifted my right arm and right leg, then did the same with my left arm and left leg.

[00:12:38] It was the only dance I knew.

[00:12:40] Gangdom style.

[00:12:42] So, I had to embrace it.

[00:12:44] I'd spent a while memorizing the move as a joke for a friend's birthday party back in college,

[00:12:49] and they'd always stuck.

[00:12:51] A fun party trick.

[00:12:53] I kicked my knees forward and trotted as if riding a tiny invisible horse,

[00:12:58] checking to see if Bia thought my talent was acceptable.

[00:13:01] But she wasn't watching me.

[00:13:03] No, she was cautiously staring at the collectors surrounding us.

[00:13:08] They all had their eyes on me, now, intrigued by this new pattern of movement.

[00:13:14] Clearly, they had never seen a dance rendition of Earth's greatest K-pop hit.

[00:13:19] I couldn't tell if their unanimous stares were a good thing or a bad thing,

[00:13:24] but I knew I couldn't stop dancing.

[00:13:28] Closing my eyes, I focused on the movements.

[00:13:32] I did my best to keep my flailing limbs consistent and uniform.

[00:13:36] How good does this performance have to be?

[00:13:39] What if they don't like it?

[00:13:41] Can they not like it?

[00:13:43] When I looked back up, I could see a shadowy collector looming over me.

[00:13:48] He looked older than my captor, wrinklier.

[00:13:52] One of his six eyes had gone totally gray.

[00:13:56] Four of the six of his tube-like fingers lifted and pointed at me.

[00:14:02] Was he naming a price?

[00:14:04] Out from his mouth came a piercingly loud suction sound,

[00:14:08] like a vacuum in a pond.

[00:14:10] The spit rained on me in bursts.

[00:14:13] Ignoring the overwhelming flight response in my gut,

[00:14:18] I maintained my dance and saw the shadow of another lanky monster approach.

[00:14:23] I glanced up to a familiar formation of crooked teeth.

[00:14:28] It was Dice Face.

[00:14:30] Dice Face smacked Gray Eye's offer away and then lifted his right hand in my periphery.

[00:14:36] Six fingers were raised.

[00:14:38] Gray Eye shrieked back, shaking his head.

[00:14:41] He held up four fingers again.

[00:14:43] The other human performers had distanced themselves quite a bit,

[00:14:48] standing nowhere close to the conversing collectors.

[00:14:51] Only Bea stood near, three meters away, doing the mech arena.

[00:14:57] Are they bidding on me?

[00:14:59] I whisper yelled, trying to stay calm.

[00:15:03] What's happening?

[00:15:04] Don't worry about it, Bea said.

[00:15:07] That one always barters.

[00:15:10] A tattered backpack lay on the ground next to Bea.

[00:15:13] She had been subtly kicking it with her dance, bringing it towards me.

[00:15:18] What's that?

[00:15:19] I asked.

[00:15:20] Take the bag.

[00:15:21] I'll explain later.

[00:15:23] As smoothly as I could,

[00:15:25] I danced over toward Bea,

[00:15:27] making sure I didn't run into one of the collector's massive legs.

[00:15:31] In between one of my slides,

[00:15:34] I scooped up the backpack over my right shoulder.

[00:15:37] Metal objects jostled inside.

[00:15:40] The two collectors above me traded vacuum noises.

[00:15:44] There was a lot of pointing from both of them.

[00:15:47] Gray Eye tried to grab me,

[00:15:48] but Dice Face pulled at my shoulder.

[00:15:51] Ugh.

[00:15:52] The hand was large and wet.

[00:15:55] It felt like I was under a boa constrictor

[00:15:57] who could squeeze the life out of me at any second.

[00:16:00] I didn't complain.

[00:16:02] I looked at one of my captor's cold fingers

[00:16:05] and saw a dense array of longitudinal muscles.

[00:16:09] Dice Face shrieked a series of sounds

[00:16:11] that got Gray Eye moaning in response.

[00:16:14] If there was an offer,

[00:16:15] it appeared to have been refused.

[00:16:18] Gray Eye shrugged and walked past me.

[00:16:22] He made a whooping sound

[00:16:24] and pointed four fingers

[00:16:25] at the bearded trumpeter

[00:16:26] who was keeping his distance.

[00:16:28] Another collector stepped behind the trumpeter

[00:16:31] and the two monsters began to negotiate.

[00:16:34] Dice Face yawned and pressed in my back.

[00:16:37] He pushed me until I was dancing

[00:16:40] towards the entrance to my own habitat.

[00:16:42] He wanted me to go home.

[00:16:45] I obeyed his lead.

[00:16:47] The window into my apartment

[00:16:49] hovered in the air like an open portal.

[00:16:51] Ringo watched me excitedly from the inside,

[00:16:54] leashed my bed.

[00:16:55] As I turned to look back,

[00:16:57] I could see the other performers were also winding down,

[00:17:01] returning to their homes.

[00:17:02] All of them, except that bearded trumpeter.

[00:17:07] Gray Eye clapped his hands victoriously

[00:17:10] and grabbed the trumpeter by the arm,

[00:17:12] dragging him to the center of the ring.

[00:17:14] I guess he had somehow purchased the trumpeter.

[00:17:19] Then I saw one of Gray Eye's massive hands

[00:17:22] grab the trumpeter by the head and lift.

[00:17:26] The trumpeter's muffled screams

[00:17:29] didn't last particularly long.

[00:17:32] It was kind of like watching a troubled child

[00:17:34] whip around his favorite toy.

[00:17:36] Up and down, back and forth.

[00:17:39] Gray Eye was excited at first,

[00:17:42] hooting and hollering his vacuum sounds.

[00:17:45] And then as soon as the neck of his new doll broke,

[00:17:50] he lost interest.

[00:17:53] Day 7

[00:17:55] The backpack contained an expensive-looking revolver.

[00:18:01] Bea told me she stole it from the firearms department

[00:18:04] in the Walmart sphere,

[00:18:05] where she had collected many over the years.

[00:18:08] Rifles and shotguns, too.

[00:18:10] I gave you plenty of bullets,

[00:18:12] because I knew you had that dog.

[00:18:15] Ringo was at my side, head on my lap,

[00:18:18] chewing a stale biscuit bone.

[00:18:20] I stared at my phone's tiny speaker.

[00:18:24] Excuse me?

[00:18:25] What's that supposed to mean?

[00:18:27] It means if your pup starts yelping and running,

[00:18:30] you've got more chances to put it out of its misery.

[00:18:34] A dark hollowness formed in the pit of my stomach.

[00:18:38] I should have known there might be something wrong with Bea.

[00:18:41] How could the sanity of any survivor last so long in this environment?

[00:18:46] I looked at the gun with mistrust.

[00:18:49] I thought you said there was a way to escape.

[00:18:53] Yeah, there is.

[00:18:55] She brought her mouth against the receiver.

[00:18:58] It's called a bullet to the brain.

[00:19:00] The biscuit cracked from Ringo's chewing.

[00:19:05] I know it may sound terrible,

[00:19:07] Bea continued,

[00:19:08] but trust me, this is for the best.

[00:19:11] If they keep capturing humans who off themselves,

[00:19:14] the collectors will stop visiting Earth and go elsewhere.

[00:19:17] I tossed the gun in the backpack.

[00:19:20] It rattled against loose bullets.

[00:19:24] No.

[00:19:25] Bea.

[00:19:25] No way.

[00:19:26] I'm not doing that.

[00:19:29] Be a laugh day,

[00:19:31] defeated,

[00:19:32] apathetic laugh.

[00:19:34] I'm not saying it has to happen tonight,

[00:19:36] but sooner or later,

[00:19:38] you'll see what I've seen,

[00:19:40] and you'll know what I mean.

[00:19:44] I didn't want to have anything to do with suicide.

[00:19:48] I couldn't believe this was being suggested.

[00:19:51] It seemed to me that multiple escape routes could still be attempted,

[00:19:55] and I was going to try them.

[00:19:58] Bea.

[00:19:59] Has no one tried to find an exit at the grocery store sphere?

[00:20:03] She sighed.

[00:20:05] Yes, we've tried.

[00:20:06] For a long time.

[00:20:07] There is none.

[00:20:09] What about the big circus sphere?

[00:20:10] Has anyone tried to-

[00:20:12] Yes, we've tried that too.

[00:20:14] The circus sphere is sealed.

[00:20:15] What about the plumbing under my sink?

[00:20:18] What if I tried to remove-

[00:20:20] Just stop.

[00:20:21] Stop what?

[00:20:23] Bea huffed.

[00:20:24] I could hear her shuffling around her apartment.

[00:20:27] There is no escape.

[00:20:30] Each sphere is in a series of larger spheres.

[00:20:32] We're caged within cages.

[00:20:35] It's an infinite Russian nesting doll,

[00:20:37] and we're stuck in the very center.

[00:20:38] That's all there is to it.

[00:20:40] We're fucked, Jacob.

[00:20:42] The sooner you accept it,

[00:20:44] the easier it gets.

[00:20:47] My hands were shaking.

[00:20:49] Whether it was from disbelief or horror,

[00:20:51] I couldn't tell you.

[00:20:53] I put the phone down.

[00:20:56] We're collectibles now.

[00:20:58] Pets.

[00:20:59] And you can try whatever escape plan you want,

[00:21:02] but it's not going to work.

[00:21:04] I pressed my hands together to stop the shaking.

[00:21:08] But there's gotta be a way out.

[00:21:10] We still get cell phone signals here.

[00:21:12] That means there's still some connection back to the real world.

[00:21:16] There was a long pause on the line.

[00:21:19] Ringo looked up at me,

[00:21:20] waiting for his next treat.

[00:21:22] I gave him another stale bone.

[00:21:25] Eventually Bea cleared her throat.

[00:21:27] She sounded completely depleted of energy and emotion.

[00:21:32] Go for it, Jacob.

[00:21:35] Maybe you'll be the one.

[00:21:36] Who knows?

[00:21:38] I tried to think of something positive to sway the mood.

[00:21:43] Had she ever even tried to find a hole through the water piping?

[00:21:46] There had to be some scientific way of discerning where we were.

[00:21:50] But before I could say anything,

[00:21:52] Bea hung up.

[00:21:53] I didn't want to push it,

[00:21:55] so I didn't call back.

[00:21:58] Taking a moment,

[00:21:59] I zipped up Bea's bullet and gun-filled backpack

[00:22:03] and shoved it into the far reaches under my bed.

[00:22:06] It was not something I wanted to think about.

[00:22:09] What use could I have for a gun anyway?

[00:22:14] Ideas fluttered through my mind.

[00:22:16] Could I draw Diceface close to me the next time I'm let outside

[00:22:20] and try shooting at his eyes?

[00:22:22] Would that even hurt him?

[00:22:24] Or would he just grab me by the head and ragdoll me to death?

[00:22:27] I remembered what happened to that trumpeter

[00:22:30] and felt my stomach turn.

[00:22:32] No, I need to think of something else.

[00:22:37] Something more elaborate.

[00:22:38] I've got a laptop, access to the internet,

[00:22:41] and an obedient dog.

[00:22:43] There's got to be some kind of escape plan I could devise.

[00:22:46] There must be something I'm not considering.

[00:22:49] I made myself tea and let the idea mull over.

[00:22:54] About half an hour passed with me mostly staring at the ceiling.

[00:22:58] Then my phone buzzed with a text message.

[00:23:03] It's no rush, Jacob.

[00:23:05] Take all the time you want.

[00:23:07] Really, I don't want to dissuade your optimism.

[00:23:10] But once you've tried whatever you wanted

[00:23:13] and had some time to reflect,

[00:23:16] give me a call.

[00:23:17] I can guide you on how to load the shells.

[00:23:21] Bia.