"DON'T VISIT the NIGHTMARE HOUSE at the Winter Fair!" by DJ_Storytime | CLANCYPASTA

[00:00:00] It was supposed to be a fun day visiting a Christmas village. Just the five of us, co-workers, and the best of friends, out for a good time during the holidays. Maybe it would have been, but how are we supposed to know the festive house with all the lights and snow wasn't Santa's workshop?

[00:00:20] Isn't this wonderful? Clarissa, my wife, said as we entered the Christmas village. It really was. An open field just outside of town had been converted into a sprawling replica of the North Pole. The buildings were designed to look like quaint cottages and shops, complete with themes of toys and candy. Colored lights were draped everywhere, making the entire village sparkle and twinkle like a starburst of colors. Actors dressed up like Santa's helpers, wondered about, playing roles in the city.

[00:00:49] Interacting with the customers, interacting with the customers, and hawking various souvenirs. There was even a petting zoo with reindeer, and an actual sleigh with nine reindeer hooked up, ready to take it on a tour through town for one of the scheduled candy parades.

[00:01:04] Finally, there was Santa himself, sitting on a throne atop a hill, surrounded by decorated pine trees in brightly wrapped packages, greeting people and taking pictures with them.

[00:01:16] How, then, could such a wonderful place harbor something so terrible as that house?

[00:01:24] Most of the day was wonderful. It was a crisp Saturday, and we had been planning this outing as a group all week. It was a pure delight being part of the fun as my wife and friends excitedly toured the village.

[00:01:36] We did everything there was to do that day. We shopped in every store. We snacked in every restaurant and food stand. We played every game. We drank every warm, seasonal, boozy beverage there was.

[00:01:49] We pet the reindeer. We took pictures with Santa. We role-played with the actors and, generally, goofed off.

[00:01:57] It was a magical day, and then we found the workshop.

[00:02:02] What's that? Joel asked curiously, pointing down a narrow, unused side street.

[00:02:09] Let's find out, Carol said, laughing and smiling. Whatever it is, I bet it's fun!

[00:02:15] We all cheerily went along with her suggestion, singing Christmas carols as we made our tipsy way to the mystery place.

[00:02:22] What we saw when we got there was the most magical thing we had seen all day.

[00:02:28] They really went all out here! John exclaimed excitedly.

[00:02:32] I can hardly believe it! They even got real little people to play the elves!

[00:02:37] I looked again. Sure enough, all of the actors playing the elves were unusually short. There couldn't have been one of them over four feet tall.

[00:02:47] They were busily working, rushing about like they were preparing for something big.

[00:02:53] Unreal, I said, and noticed my breath fog in front of me.

[00:02:58] Clarissa hugged her arms around herself.

[00:03:00] It's cold here. Why don't we go inside Santa's workshop? I bet it's fun!

[00:03:05] The workshop looked exactly as one might imagine Santa's workshop to be.

[00:03:10] Red, white, green, silver, and gold were the colors.

[00:03:14] The architecture looked very 15th century, giving it a quaint appearance.

[00:03:18] There were snowmen, small pine trees, and big candy canes scattered around the grounds.

[00:03:24] A warm light glowed inside, gently filtering out of the windows,

[00:03:29] and a thick curl of white smoke rose from the chimney like a serpentine cloud.

[00:03:36] All of us were feeling the cold. The crisp air seemed to have taken a sudden plunge,

[00:03:41] and it only made the warm, festive building all the more appealing.

[00:03:45] We happily agreed that it looked like fun, and walked to it.

[00:03:49] The elves mostly seemed not to notice us as they rushed about their work, but

[00:03:54] I noticed one give us a stern look and a shake of his head, and he rushed on by.

[00:04:00] Something about him seemed off, and I couldn't quite put my finger on what.

[00:04:06] Hurry!

[00:04:07] John called as I paused to consider the strange behavior by this small man.

[00:04:12] I caught up as everyone reached the door. Joel opened it and held it open as we all filed in.

[00:04:18] Inside, it was bright and warm. Not painfully bright like an office with too much overhead

[00:04:24] lighting, but comfortably bright like an open field on an early spring day. It smelled of sugar

[00:04:31] and baked goods. The entry was an open room, festively decorated with a reception and a door that led inside.

[00:04:39] Behind the desk was a small man dressed as an elf. He smiled at us and waved us over.

[00:04:45] Before you enter the workshop, you need to sign the registry, he said in a cheerful tone.

[00:04:51] What's inside? Carol asked curiously, eyeing the door behind the elf. The little man smiled widely.

[00:04:58] It's a place like no other, he said brightly. Where the wonders never cease, and everyone gets what they deserve.

[00:05:08] Well, I deserve a million dollars, Joel said with a laugh. Let's sign this book and get on in there.

[00:05:15] We were all there for a good time. We'd been having a good time. So how could we possibly know?

[00:05:23] How could we have any reason to expect that by signing that guest book, our wonderful day would become the stuff of nightmares?

[00:05:33] We happily signed our pages on lines at the bottom of individual pages. Most of each page was covered in ornate calligraphy,

[00:05:42] so fancy that none of us could actually read it. At the bottom was a heavy line with an

[00:05:47] X in front of it, indicating that it was where we should sign. The paper felt like old vellum,

[00:05:53] and the pen was a proper fountain pen that ink flowed out of in a dark line that varied in thickness with every stroke.

[00:06:03] Something wasn't sitting quite right in my mind. I couldn't put my finger on it, just a general sense that

[00:06:10] all was not as it seemed. What's this say? I asked as I was signing my name.

[00:06:18] Standard release, the elf said in a tone that indicated it didn't matter. You know how these lawyers are,

[00:06:25] making everything into a liability. I laughed at this, as did my wife and John.

[00:06:31] Joel gave Clarissa a mock look of alarm, and she joined in the laughter.

[00:06:37] As soon as the last of us finished signing, the door opened and we could see inside. The ladies

[00:06:44] gasped, and the men's eyes grew wide in wonder. I wish I had the words to properly describe what we

[00:06:52] saw as we looked through the door, but it was everything any of us could have thought, hoped,

[00:06:57] and expected Santa's workshop to be. It was filled with toys, elves busily crafting them as they chatted

[00:07:04] cheerily, laughed, and sang. That's when I noticed what had seemed off to me before.

[00:07:13] Guys, I said hesitantly, these dwarfs are proportioned like a full-size person, just shorter.

[00:07:21] Good for them, John said dismissively. Now let's get in there and enjoy the best workshop setup I've

[00:07:27] ever seen. I didn't share my friend's lack of concern. Normally, a person with dwarfism is not

[00:07:35] proportional to a full-sized person. Their heads are large compared to their bodies, their limbs are

[00:07:41] short compared to their bodies too. These actors were more like pygmies, people who do not suffer

[00:07:47] from dwarfism but are still extraordinarily short. It's incredibly rare, and there was no way this

[00:07:54] seasonal fare should have been able to find so many. The elves in the rest of the village are full-sized

[00:08:01] people. These people are all pygmies, I said with concern. Something's… In we go, my wife interrupted,

[00:08:10] and she pushed me through the door with everyone else following. At first, everything was fine. At first,

[00:08:17] everything was exactly as it had seemed from the other room. That is, until a new figure entered the

[00:08:25] room. Look! Carol squealed with excitement. It's Santa! And at first, it seemed to be. In walked a large

[00:08:34] man dressed in an old-fashioned Santa outfit, green and brown, the kind he was best known for before the

[00:08:41] Coke Company popularized the red variant. He was a large man with a thick, long white beard flowing out from

[00:08:49] under his hood. He carried a large sack over one shoulder, and in his other hand, he held a shining scroll. His face was

[00:08:57] hidden in the shadow of his hood, with only his beard in the tip, a long pointed nose poking out.

[00:09:04] Welcome, he said in a deep, booming voice. It is time to check your signatures against the list and

[00:09:11] see if you're naughty or nice. Everyone but me oooed and aahed in delighted anticipation.

[00:09:21] It was the nose. His nose wasn't right. Wasn't Santa's nose supposed to be like a button? Not long and thin?

[00:09:31] I shook my head to clear the thought away. It's not the real Santa, I muttered under my breath.

[00:09:37] Get over it! I convinced myself that it was just the actor. I couldn't expect every Santa actor to

[00:09:44] actually look perfectly like the mythical version of Saint Nick after all. It was a silly notion,

[00:09:51] an unreasonable expectation. And yet, this didn't feel like the fun fakery of the village outside.

[00:09:58] And just why was the biggest, most effortful, most important part of the whole Christmas village

[00:10:05] tucked away from everything else, hidden down a narrow side street where anyone could miss it?

[00:10:11] Why wasn't it the literal center of town? These thoughts raged through my skull and I wanted to

[00:10:19] voice them. But I tamped down the urge, telling myself that I was just being silly. That this

[00:10:25] strange paranoia was unfounded with no relation to reality.

[00:10:32] Joel Donaldson, Santa announced in that booming voice.

[00:10:36] Yours is the first name signed. Time to see if you're naughty or nice.

[00:10:41] Joel stepped forward with a comical flourish. I noticed that his face was radiant with a blend

[00:10:48] of happiness and just a little bit too much alcohol consumed in our day of revels.

[00:10:53] I'm ready for my present, he announced with all the innocence and expectation of someone who truly

[00:11:00] thought that all was right in the world. You will get your just reward, Santa declared somberly.

[00:11:09] He held up the scroll in front of him and let it unfurl. He read it aloud.

[00:11:15] Joel Donaldson, you are on the naughty list.

[00:11:22] Ooooooooh, Joel said mockingly with a smile and a wave of his hands.

[00:11:27] The elves all stopped working and began to gather around us. They sang,

[00:11:33] Naughty list, naughty list, you are on the naughty list! Over and over again.

[00:11:39] As they surrounded Joel, big, truly joyful smiles plastered across their smooth faces.

[00:11:46] Santa stepped aside, revealing a chair that had not been there before.

[00:11:52] Come, he commanded. Receive your reward! The elves crowded in around Joel and began

[00:11:59] pushing him forward toward the chair. Naughty list, naughty list, you are on the naughty list!

[00:12:05] They continued to sing. Joel laughed and went along with it, believing that nothing was out of place

[00:12:11] and it was all just part of the show. He walked past Santa and plopped himself down in the chair.

[00:12:19] That was the moment when the truth of our situation revealed itself. Heavy, spiked leather straps

[00:12:27] erupted out of the chair and wrapped themselves around Joel, trapping him and pinning him down.

[00:12:33] They squeezed and tightened around his legs and torso and pinpricks of blood began to stain his clothing

[00:12:40] in slowly spreading circles of red. He screamed in surprise and pain.

[00:12:47] What are you doing to me? He yelled, pain cracking his voice as he thrashed his head and swatted futilely

[00:12:54] at the straps binding him to the chair. The elves laughed musically and began to chant,

[00:13:00] Naughty list! Naughty list!

[00:13:04] The tone becoming increasingly menacing with every syllable.

[00:13:09] The floor opened up in front of Joel and a large ornate office desk stacked with papers and

[00:13:17] writing implements rose up before him. The elves chanting ceased as Santa began to speak.

[00:13:24] Joel Donaldson? He announced in a tone that was both business-like and filled with malice.

[00:13:30] You have been a Nazi boy! You have been stealing from your employer, using your position as accountant to

[00:13:39] cook the books and move money from the business to your personal accounts.

[00:13:42] I've done no such thing! Joel insisted. Let me out of here! I swear to god I'm going to sue you into oblivion!

[00:13:51] The rest of us were too stunned to say or do anything. What could we do? This was supposed to be a fun

[00:13:58] day. It was supposed to be safe and innocent, just five friends from work having a good time at the fair.

[00:14:04] We couldn't properly process this sudden turn of events, and we stood transfixed in horror as the scene unfolded before us.

[00:14:15] Santa laughed at Joel's futile threat. There was no merriment in it. It was a deep belly laugh,

[00:14:23] but it was filled with such malice that I hesitate to call it a laugh at all, but there's no better word to

[00:14:29] describe it. The straps tightened and moved, scraping across Joel like a sandpaper belt,

[00:14:35] shredding his clothing and the skin beneath. He thrashed and screamed in pain, and blood began to

[00:14:42] flow more freely. An elf walked up and placed an old quill pen in Joel's right hand before sliding a

[00:14:49] leather-bound ledger across the desk in front of him. Joel protested and dropped the pen. The straps

[00:14:56] tightened and raked him some more in response to his defiance before the elf picked up the pen and put it

[00:15:02] back in his hand. Your punishment is to find the errors and correct the balances in these books,

[00:15:09] Santa said with finality. Every one of them is the result of a dishonest man lying and abusing his

[00:15:17] position, his position to steal just like you. I know you're accustomed to different tools of your

[00:15:24] trade, but I'm afraid that you'll just have to complete this task the old-fashioned way.

[00:15:31] And if I refuse, Joel said through teeth gritted in pain. The straps raked him again and he screamed.

[00:15:41] Santa chuckled evilly. If you refuse, the straps will punish you. If you make a mistake,

[00:15:47] the straps will punish you. If you fall asleep, the straps will punish you. Make enough mistakes,

[00:15:54] and the straps won't stop. They will drag across your body and tighten until they have cut you to

[00:16:00] ribbons. No! Joel screeched as the chair slammed forward so hard that he would have slammed his head

[00:16:07] into it if he had not been tightly strapped to the chair, pinning him against the desk.

[00:16:13] Naughty list, naughty list, the elves sang again. You are on the naughty list!

[00:16:21] I watched as Joel reached forward with a shaking hand and took hold of a paper sitting atop one of

[00:16:28] the large piles. When he pulled his hand back, a bunch of the papers fell to the desk and the

[00:16:34] straps on the chair reacted, slicing across his body like a belt sander. Santa's booming laugh

[00:16:42] drowned out my friend's screams as the door to the next room opened. The four of us who were still

[00:16:49] free to move screamed in unison and ran back to the door we came in through, desperately trying to escape

[00:16:55] this nightmare version of Santa's workshop. It was sealed shut, refusing to open no matter how hard we

[00:17:03] pulled, pushed, or battered against it. The only response to our screams for help was the laughter of

[00:17:10] Santa accompanied by the joyful singing of the elves as they continued their refrain of condemnation.

[00:17:19] You must go forward, Santa commanded. Go forward and receive your just reward!

[00:17:27] We continued our futile attempt at escape a while longer, but stopped when the elves crowded around

[00:17:34] us and began to push us to the open doorway to the next room. Just reward! Just reward! They chanted.

[00:17:44] Joel screamed again as the wicked chair responded to some error he made, and I knew then that he was

[00:17:50] never meant to survive the task set before him but to be slowly killed as he desperately tried to complete an

[00:17:58] impossible task. The four of us tumbled through the door and into the next room to the sound of booming

[00:18:07] laughter over chants of, JUST REWARD! The door slammed shut behind us as the lights came on, bathing us in a

[00:18:16] gentle glow while we desperately pounded at the closed door, screaming to be let out. The sound of many people

[00:18:25] talking stopped us, and we turned around in morbid curiosity to see what was going on. The room was

[00:18:32] filled with people stuffed into old-fashioned telephone booths. They were babbling nonsense

[00:18:37] into the receivers with pained looks on their faces. Once in a while, one of them would drop the

[00:18:43] phone in a coughing fit and spit up a great gout of blood before picking the receiver up again and

[00:18:50] babbling some more. A column of elves filed into the room from a hidden door. Wicked smiles plastered

[00:18:58] across their faces, they went about the room checking the phone booths, performing repairs and

[00:19:03] washing out blood by connecting a hose to a nozzle on the outside of the phone booth that caused the

[00:19:09] water to spray right into the person's face at high volume, rinsing away the blood by sheer volume of

[00:19:15] water that drained out the bottom to god knows where. Booming laughter announced the arrival of Santa

[00:19:23] Claus as he approached us from behind the phone booths. Carol Jenkins, he announced, time to see if

[00:19:31] you've been naughty or nice. He raised the hand with a scroll, but before I let it unfurl, I called out,

[00:19:41] wait, wait, I pleaded. What kind of Santa's workshop is this? Santa doesn't hurt people.

[00:19:47] The worst he does is give coal to naughty children. Looking back, I know it was a pointless question.

[00:19:54] Silly, even. Our captors were going to do what they intended, with or without explanation. What did

[00:20:02] it matter if the man before us wasn't actually Santa Claus? Why would it matter, anyway? This was supposed

[00:20:10] to be a fair with nothing but human actors. Humans don't follow Saint Nick's rules. Only the truth was

[00:20:19] even worse than any of us imagined. The man dressed as Santa laughed, not his usual booming laugh, but a

[00:20:27] low, menacing laugh. Santa Claus? he chuckled. What makes you think I'm Santa Claus? Is it the robe?

[00:20:38] He stood to his full height, then, and he towered above us all. He pulled back his hood and grinned like a

[00:20:45] jack-o-lantern. Behold, he commanded in his booming voice, I am Krampus, and I punish the wicked.

[00:20:57] We all stared in horror at the giant before us. His face was like gnarled wood, old and weathered,

[00:21:06] with hollow features, a long pointy nose, and deep sharp eyes that seemed to look right through us.

[00:21:13] He dropped his bag and removed his gloves, revealing gnarled, knobby hands tipped with claw-like nails.

[00:21:20] The bag opened when it fell, revealing its contents to be nothing but stout reeds and human bones.

[00:21:29] I am not here to reward the nice list, he continued. I bear only the naughty list. If your name is on it,

[00:21:39] you will be properly rewarded for your behavior. It will be your just reward, and justice is harsh.

[00:21:49] Carol's eyes opened wide, and her mouth worked rapidly, trying to speak but failing to form any

[00:21:56] words. Krampus again lifted the scroll and let it unfurl.

[00:22:01] Carol Jenkins, he announced, you are on the naughty list.

[00:22:08] As he announced this, the elves in the room began to sing,

[00:22:12] Naughty list, naughty list, naughty list. You are on the naughty list.

[00:22:17] They surged around her and pushed her to Krampus as she screamed in terror.

[00:22:23] You are a gossip, Krampus declared. You spread rumors and falsehoods about others without regard for

[00:22:31] the harm you're doing. You destroy people's names, reputations, and relationships with your wicked

[00:22:38] tongue. She struggled against the elves to no avail. As soon as she was close enough,

[00:22:45] Krampus reached out and snatched her up with one great, gnarled hand and pulled her in close.

[00:22:53] As punishment, you must confess the truth to every one of your victims, he said in a threatening tone.

[00:23:05] The floor next to them opened, and a new phone booth rose up.

[00:23:11] Naughty list, naughty list, the elves chanted. But you won't be using that lying tongue, he continued.

[00:23:20] A tool of deceit has no place in honest confession. Carol struggled in his grasp and started to scream

[00:23:28] for help, but Krampus shot his free hand forward and shoved his fingers into her open mouth.

[00:23:35] Her mouth was forced open wider than it could naturally go, and her mouth tore open into a wide,

[00:23:42] jagged smile, and Krampus closed his fingers around her tongue. With a swift yank, he ripped her tongue out.

[00:23:51] Blood sprayed out of her mouth as she screamed in agony. Krampus dropped her tongue and held out his

[00:23:59] hand. A smiling elf ran forward and placed a small candy cane in it. He took the piece of candy and

[00:24:07] shoved it into Carol's mouth. The bleeding stopped instantly. It was no mercy though, as Krampus

[00:24:16] immediately threw her into the phone booth and closed the door. Call them, he commanded. Once

[00:24:23] you confess your slander to all of your victims, you're free to go. Carol beat on the door, desperately

[00:24:32] trying to break free. It was pointless. She was as trapped as the rest of the people in that room.

[00:24:39] A door opened at the far end of the room. Go, Krampus commanded, and receive your just reward.

[00:24:50] The elves began to crowd around us again. They pushed and prodded us in the direction of the door.

[00:24:57] We reluctantly went. My wife broke down crying. Tears streamed out her face as she sobbed in great,

[00:25:05] shuddering gasps. John yelled in protest about how they couldn't do this to us. I was silent.

[00:25:13] None of it mattered anyway. We were trapped, well and truly, and no amount of protest,

[00:25:20] no flood of tears would change it. We neared the door and were roughly shoved the last few steps.

[00:25:28] The door slammed shut as soon as we were through, leaving us enveloped in darkness.

[00:25:33] We waited in silence for a few moments. The darkness was oppressive, and my anxiety climbed with

[00:25:41] every second. It could be hiding literally anything, and based on the horrors of the last two rooms,

[00:25:47] that anything was certain to be deeply disturbing at best, and outright horrifying at worst.

[00:25:55] H-hello? I called out to the darkness in a shuddering breath. As if in response, there was a slow,

[00:26:03] grinding sound as part of the wall dropped down, revealing a roaring fireplace.

[00:26:10] The inferno lit the room in a dancing, ominous glow. It might have been a comforting glow under

[00:26:16] other circumstances, but after the previous two rooms, there was nothing it could be but a sign of

[00:26:23] foreboding. In the center of a room was a large wrought iron-framed bed with chains at the head and

[00:26:30] foot. In place of a mattress was an iron slab. Beyond that, the room lay barren, empty of all signs of life or

[00:26:40] habitation. The fire blazed even higher and belched out into the room, licking the bed frame for just a

[00:26:49] moment like the tongue of some arcane hungry beast. As the fire retreated, a now familiar, horrifying

[00:26:57] figure stepped out of the flames, followed by an entourage of those despicable elves. Without any further

[00:27:06] fanfare, Krampus held out his scroll and dropped the bottom roll.

[00:27:12] John Valentine, he announced in that booming voice, you are on the naughty list.

[00:27:20] The elves were on him in an instant, singing that horrible chant,

[00:27:24] Naughty list, naughty list, you are on the naughty list, as they grabbed him and lifted him overhead,

[00:27:31] kicking and screaming. It was futile. Small as they were, the elves' grip was like iron and all John

[00:27:39] could accomplish was wrenching his own back and shoulders painfully as they proceeded to the bed.

[00:27:47] The elves chained him to the bed, iron manacles locked tight around his wrists and ankles,

[00:27:53] then they pulled the chains taut to display him out and immobilize him. He screamed in pain and

[00:28:00] terror as his shoulders and hips were dislocated with a series of loud pops.

[00:28:06] You are guilty of adultery many, many times, Krampus announced with malicious glee. You lied to cover

[00:28:18] it up. You betrayed someone close to you, exploited his trust, and smiled as you deceived a friend.

[00:28:28] John was screaming in protest. It's not like that, he protested. We're in love. You can't blame me for

[00:28:36] being in love. Love is a beautiful thing. Krampus laughed wickedly. You continue to lie even as you face just

[00:28:45] punishment for your crimes? He declared with absolute authority. You never loved her. You had other women even as

[00:28:53] you took what didn't belong to you over and over and over again. I was stunned. The John I knew would

[00:29:03] never do something so heinous. He was a good, upright man and the only one I trusted completely.

[00:29:10] I turned to my wife in shock. Who did he? My words caught in my throat as I saw my wife,

[00:29:19] my dear Clarissa, cry, her mouth quivering with great sobs and tears flowing like twin rivers from her bright

[00:29:28] green eyes, her head hung in shame. He said he loved me, she sobbed. He promised that he would make

[00:29:38] everything better and all of my problems would go away if I chose to be with him. She sobbed.

[00:29:44] She looked at me with profound sadness and regret. It was me, she confessed. I'm so sorry, it was me.

[00:29:53] The happiness I felt in our marriage wasn't there anymore and he promised to make me happy again.

[00:30:00] Her words hit me like a bullet to the heart. My wife and my best friend, the two people in the world

[00:30:09] dearest to me who I trusted with my life, betrayed me together? I felt my own tears begin to well up and

[00:30:20] pour out of my eyes. Why? I croaked, unable to think of anything else to say. I still love you,

[00:30:28] she said with sincerity. I always loved you. That never changed, but the magic was gone.

[00:30:35] I stopped being happy at the thought of you. The sweet things you do lost their magic and became

[00:30:41] routine. I wanted that happiness back. I craved the intensity of it and he gave it to me, that's all.

[00:30:48] Her words were like a punch to the gut by a champion heavyweight boxer. I was left stunned,

[00:30:55] breathless, and unable to form a coherent thought.

[00:31:00] Clarissa Hart, Krampus announced as if he had been waiting for this exact moment to speak.

[00:31:06] You are on the naughty list.

[00:31:10] The elves crowded around my wife.

[00:31:14] Naughty list, naughty list, naughty list. You are on the naughty list. They chanted gleefully as they

[00:31:20] grabbed her, lifted her up, and began to march toward the bed.

[00:31:24] No! I screamed. I forgive her. I don't care what she did. We'll work it out. We'll find her happiness

[00:31:30] again. Don't take her from me. I love her. The only response I got to my pleas was a continued chant of,

[00:31:39] Naughty list, naughty list. You are on the naughty list. As those demonic elves joyfully carried my wife,

[00:31:48] kicking and screaming apologies and professions of her love for me, to the iron bed.

[00:31:54] You also are guilty of adultery. Lying and betrayal of the one person who loved and trusted you above all

[00:32:02] others, he declared. Your crimes were committed with the condemned man. Therefore, you will share his fate

[00:32:10] just as you shared your own marriage bed with him. The elves shackled and stretched her exactly as they

[00:32:18] had to Jon. I turned away as she screamed in pain and terror, every pop of her joints sending a shudder

[00:32:26] of sorrow and regret through my body. You must witness this, Krampus said to me in an almost sympathetic

[00:32:34] voice. She would have left you anyway, only to get her heart broken in betrayal. She cared far less

[00:32:42] for you than she did for her own selfish desires. I turned back to face the bed and lifted my head.

[00:32:51] All I could see through the haze of tears was blurry vision of a black lump of iron with two patches of

[00:32:58] color on top. I heard the sound of metal grating and sliding as floor plates moved, opening a blazing

[00:33:06] pathway from the fireplace to the bed one panel at a time. My wife and my best friend screamed even louder

[00:33:16] and began to thrash, desperation overriding the pain in their dislocated limbs as they realized what was going to

[00:33:24] happen. Over it all, I could hear the booming sound of Krampus' voice as he declared,

[00:33:31] Your bodies will burn together just as you burned with lust together! The elves surrounded me and carried me

[00:33:40] bodily across the room to a newly opened door. They dumped me through it and slid it shut just as I heard

[00:33:49] the screams of the two people I loved best intensify as the flames reached the underside of the bed and began

[00:33:58] to heat the iron slab they lay upon. I lay in a crumpled head for I don't know how long, sobbing with intense

[00:34:08] sorrow at all that I lost. My friends, my wife, all gone. Victims of a demonic entity meeting out a twisted and final

[00:34:18] justice that nothing in me could reconcile as right or proper. We all fall short. We all make mistakes.

[00:34:27] None of us is truly innocent in this world. It's only a matter of degree and amount.

[00:34:34] Eventually, I opened my eyes, stood up, and looked around. I was in a cozy sitting room. There was a

[00:34:42] perfectly ordinary fireplace with a non-threatening fur cheerily popping away. There was a table set

[00:34:49] with a fine feast. There was a long, overstuffed couch. The room was festively decorated with all

[00:34:57] the trimmings of a proper Christmas celebration. And in a very large chair sat the demon, Krampus,

[00:35:05] patiently waiting for me to notice him.

[00:35:08] Take a seat, he said gently, motioning to the couch with one large, bony hand. Seeing no other course of

[00:35:17] action, I obeyed. You are not on the naughty list, he declared with a soft authority, the wickedly,

[00:35:27] mirthful, booming voice somehow absent. What? I replied dumbly, my mind not comprehending what I had just heard

[00:35:36] after seeing my wife and friend sentenced to torment and death. You are not fully innocent, Krampus

[00:35:44] explained, but minor infractions do not condemn a man. Therefore, you are not on the naughty list.

[00:35:53] I sat there in stunned silence, expecting it to be some sort of malicious joke at my expense. I expected

[00:36:01] these horrible elves to show and start chanting about me being on the naughty list as they dragged me off

[00:36:07] to be tortured and killed. It didn't happen.

[00:36:12] Why? I croaked after I finally found my voice.

[00:36:18] You think me a demon, Krampus stated. That's understandable, but I'm not.

[00:36:26] I don't understand, I said in soft confusion. Krampus nodded his head.

[00:36:32] And you never truly will, he replied. All you need to know is that I am tasked with rewarding

[00:36:39] people for the evil acts they commit. Not evil by any human understanding, but according to a universal

[00:36:46] truth that many deny even exists. What even is that? I asked softly.

[00:36:54] The universe operates under certain rules, Krampus explained. Good and evil exist because of those

[00:37:01] rules. Good is whatever follows the rules and evil is whatever breaks them. The catch is that your kind

[00:37:08] is bound to break them. The only question is which rules you break and how often. I don't know why,

[00:37:18] but something about being told that good and evil are universal and unchanging, that humanity has no

[00:37:25] say in the matter, incensed me. That doesn't give you the right to just murder people, I shouted,

[00:37:32] all of my pain, sadness and rage coming out in a single exhausting burst. I slumped back in my chair,

[00:37:40] completely spent, suddenly helpless and uncaring. Just kill me and get it over with, I sighed. Stop

[00:37:49] toying with me. Krampus chuckled, a real one, like he genuinely found me funny. I'm not going to kill you,

[00:37:59] he declared with finality. You're not on the naughty list. Instead, I'm going to give you a gift.

[00:38:08] I didn't have time to ask what he meant by gift before he was on me. He grabbed a hold of the front

[00:38:17] of my shirt with one mighty hand and lifted me up. Then, with his free hand, he pulled back his hood

[00:38:24] to reveal that, among his other horrifying features, he had horns like a goat, and this

[00:38:31] straggly hair that seemed to flow and move of its own volition. He opened his mouth and it stretched

[00:38:38] wider than any mortal man's mouth ever could, so wide that I thought he meant to eat me in a single

[00:38:46] gulp. Then he breathed. He breathed on me, a deep sighing breath that seemed to have no end.

[00:38:54] It reeked of carry and rot smothered with mint and cloves. I tried to hold my breath to avoid

[00:39:01] breathing the foul fumes, but it wasn't long before I found myself taking in a great gasp of air,

[00:39:07] as my body overrode my mind and forced me to breathe whether I wanted to or not.

[00:39:15] At first, I felt nothing other than simple revulsion. I gagged on the foul breath and coughed

[00:39:22] like my lungs wanted to jump out of my mouth. Then it subsided, and I found myself inhaling.

[00:39:29] I inhaled like never before, seeming to have no limit to how much air I could take in.

[00:39:35] I inhaled until every last foul fume that Krampus emitted was sucked in, and then he dropped me to

[00:39:42] the floor. I lay there, coughing and sputtering as though my body were now rejecting the clean air,

[00:39:50] now that Krampus had finished fumigating me. Krampus stood looming over me like the specter of death

[00:39:56] himself until I settled down and stood again on my own two feet. I looked up and saw his hood

[00:40:05] drawn far forward yet again like it had been when I first laid eyes upon him. His eyes glowed like embers

[00:40:13] in the darkness. He said nothing, waiting, as if in expectation.

[00:40:21] What now? I asked, coughing as I spoke. A door that I had not noticed before opened up to reveal a

[00:40:30] familiar snowy landscape. Now you go out into the world and see it for what it truly is. He said in a

[00:40:41] voice that grew deeper and more foreboding with every word. That is your gift. You will always know

[00:40:48] the truth about the people you meet. Never again will you be deceived. I started to speak up, to ask what he

[00:40:58] meant by his statement, but he hushed me and pointed to the door. Go, he commanded in that booming voice

[00:41:06] I had come to know and dread. Leave my workshop and never return. I turned and walked out the door and into the

[00:41:16] Christmas village. All was as it had been before we found and entered that wicked workshop. People were

[00:41:26] blissfully enjoying the fair and the cold winter air, a recent layer of snow coating the land with a cozy

[00:41:33] frozen blanket. I turned around and the workshop was gone. Where it once stood was a town center

[00:41:41] filled with bustling shops and Christmas themed carnival games. A drink vendor was off to one side

[00:41:48] calling out for people to come and enjoy a hot spiced mead and mulled wine to warm their bodies on a cold

[00:41:55] winter day. I needed a drink and I hurried over to the vendor fully intending to order a hot mug of mulled

[00:42:04] wine when I noticed something that stopped me in my tracks. I did a double take looking at the man

[00:42:11] in stunned disbelief. I couldn't properly explain it, but as plainly as though it was written all over his

[00:42:18] face, I knew things about the man that I had no logical way to know. I knew beyond all doubt that

[00:42:27] this was a con man. I knew that he served cheap drinks that he labeled as expensive premium ones.

[00:42:33] I knew that he was a habitual liar who lacked an honest bone in his body. I knew that he sweet-talked

[00:42:40] many a gullible young woman into his bed for his own amusement with false promises and declarations of

[00:42:48] affection before moving on to a new town where he did it all again. I knew that he had murdered his own

[00:42:55] mother and made it look like a falling accident so he could collect her life insurance before the term

[00:43:02] expired. I knew about the vial of oleander toxin he kept hidden in his inside coat pocket so he could poison

[00:43:12] the occasional drunk knowing it would look like a heart attack and the coroner was unlikely to look any deeper.

[00:43:19] What can I get for you? The man said cheerily, a wide smile splayed across his face.

[00:43:27] Do you have anything stronger than wine? I asked, suddenly wanting nothing to do with

[00:43:34] anything this man touched. He pointed behind me to a small building simply marked

[00:43:41] Bar. Go there if you want liquor, he said with the same cheer and smile he'd originally had.

[00:43:51] I thanked him and left, heading to the bar at first then turning down the street and leaving,

[00:43:58] wanting nothing more than to put as much distance between myself and the Christmas village as humanly possible.